If you could get your challenges resolved, get unstuck, or find what you're looking for, it would feel like you're moving to the next step.
But is there an obstacle in your way? Is there a person, place, or idea blocking the next stage of your journey? Are you missing any pieces or has anything unexpected popped up?
" What's missing here is that I don't allow myself to show up."
We've learned to follow specific steps and routines. But these don't work for me. So now, I'm in the process of allowing my authentic self to come out and do whatever I want, in the way I want, without trying to follow anyone else's steps.
I seek alternative ways because it feels like, for the last five years, I've just been chasing and following the maze. Now, it feels like I want to go in the opposite direction, but there's a strong wind that doesn't allow me to. It carries me along with everyone else, and it's quite hard. I feel that I take some steps forward, but the mindset and mentality of society are so deeply ingrained in everyone else.
This makes it even harder to change and share a new perspective. But I really want to do it, and unfortunately, I don't find many role models for this because all the famous, successful people just follow the same steps as everyone else. Today, if we consider someone successful, they needed to follow specific steps. But I disagree because those steps don't work for me, and I want to show people that you can do things differently and still be successful. So I don't know if that makes sense, but I'm here trying to do that.
There are examples of totally unconventional lifestyles, like spending time just sitting and thinking, not being so active. Bukowski, in his books, wrote about a very different lifestyle of smoking and drinking. Of course, I'm not saying that's the right way to do things, but it's something different. It offers another perspective, instead of just waking up, doing your meditation, yoga, workout, and taking an ice bath at 5:00 a.m. I'm trying to find some relation here and feel more connected.
For me, following that model resulted in more stress and created even bigger expectations that I couldn't meet. I pushed myself to become this model, but my authentic self isn't like that. I didn't allow myself to listen to my authentic self because I was trying to complete this to-do list. I woke up at the same time every day, did my meditation, and followed the routine.
My real, authentic self didn't want that. I'm trying to find this balance by understanding different perspectives.
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